Boxes and Baggage

Tonight is a rough one. Setting up this new place only made me want my old one more. Our bed, you. I want your arms so badly right now i need to be comforted. I need to know you are here for me. Like my drug i am going through withdrawal. I am jealous that you get to go to a BBQ and a show and have all your friends. I have nothing. I don't have anything to look forward to. Nothing to word towards I am so lost and empty right now. I hate you for taking this all away from me. I hate you for leaving me. I hate that i know you want to be with me but you just didn't want to do this anymore. I wish i could hate you enough to stop loving you. But I don't know how to stop doing that. ... over time i'm sure. but i have this feeling i'll be waiting around for you forever.
That one day you will find something else and i'll be on the sidelines crying inside but pretending i'm ok.
I just want you to want me back.
All these boxes have our memories. This bed is to small these sheets don't smell right. my pillow still smells like you. and that is all i have
I can't keep busy enough. I can't stay away from my tears. I can't stay away from you. I want US back. I need US.

Falling a thousand feet per second
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can’t be over
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence takes a lot to realize
It is worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lye
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won’t fall even if you said I was wrong

I’m not perfect but I keep trying
‘Cause that’s what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I’m lonely
So please don’t leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality


You made so many promises. you told me so many things and didn't do them. You ripped my heart to pieces with your lies. I am dead and nothing anymore. You took every part of me, draining the life from my vains I feel as if i am being ripped apart. I can't breath and I can't tell anyone. They all think that I was weak to love you but it took all my strength to do it. I should have listened and left before I loved you. I can't do this.
I don't want to do this. I don't know anything anymore. I don't know where i want to be. I don't know what i want to do.

i hate you, i love you.

I can't sleep.

WHY couldn't you just be with me. Why is the band more important then me and my love. WHY WASN'T I ENOUGH!
This isn't how it was supposed to be.