What am I doing?

Jumping from pad to pad
To scared to swim alone.

That's all you are,
a safety net

This isn't the time for me
This isn't what you need

I will need to drown a few more times before I hold my own.

Will you still be around?

My summer skin will shed and I'll be responsible then
I promise, or at least I'll try.

Just let me have this.

Fuck that Shit

I am sick and tired of wasted energy.

one day, one day, one day.

who cares.

I want now. Someone who deserves the energy and love i can give them. Someone who I like and ...this is a wild concept, they like me back.

I want to know what I am going to do for more then a year.
I want a house with my own room. Without someone checking up on me all the time.

This life is not what I asked for.

Why ?

Don't wake me from this fantasy

"Wish I could hold you up in my arms
Keep you safe and sound from any harm.
I can't seem to function from this far away
Never did a moment look so dull
Without your color in my day

Oh, it feels so good to hear you speak.

This is where I start to miss you more than I can bare
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.
All my time spent wondering
How to stay true to you
But you're not here, and now I fear
I'll never get back to you.

Would have carried you to anywhere you please
Even if my limbs were broken and my body was diseased.
I can't seem to operate from this far away
There's a million littles voices telling me I should've stayed

Oh, it feels so good to hear you speak

This is where I start to miss you more than I can bare
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.
All my time spent wondering
How to stay true to you
But you're not here, and now I fear
I'll never get back to you.

My blood aches from trying to make you appear
It's an awful sight to just see me in the mirror

This is where I start to miss you more than I can bare
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.
All my time spent wondering
Why I stay true to you
'Cause you're not here, and now it's clear
I'm never going back to you.

No, no I'm never going back to you."

Waking up the morning after we talk is like getting down off a high or sobering up. The night seemed great but then you remember as the sun shines down on the world it isn't just you and I. There is SO much more and I don't get to keep you at the end of the day. Your heart belongs else where and I am back on the shelf.

How am I supposed to feel good when lately it seems like every person would choose someone else over me? Why cant *I* be the one that you are wrapped up in? The only one who you have eyes for and all other girls fail in comparison. .. I guess this is why we can't talk anymore. Why I have to let go. I want you here. You said you would come visit. come now. stay....

There's nothing else.

All we ever do is say goodbye.

I just...... ugh

please give it all up. forget about everything else but me.

I will be here.

To many songs

Come here boy

The rain is falling outside. Come be here with me. We will dance and laugh like we were young and care free.

That 's the way it should be.

Forget your life and come see me. There is so much we said we would do. So much to show you. walking hand in hand telling stories and making memories

That's the way it should be.

I'm not trying to make your life harder, only better. You know we could be something fantastic. I can't give that up, not yet. I see us laying there in each others arms, talking till that blue haze begins to show in the night sky and the world grows lighter. But we can't close our eyes because there is still so much to say.... about absolutely nothing.

That's the way it should be.

In shallow seas we sail

"I knew it (I knew it) right from the start
I got this big, big hole in my heart
I wanted to put you in
But for some reason you just wouldn't fit
You just wouldn't fit"

how does something swell and crash so fast?
I just want to run back to you and take you away.
pages of scribbles of things i want to say.
I keep my mouth shut because it's for the best.
but i can't hold back. how do i hold back?

Being raw is who we are.
its why boundaries would never work
its why we don't work.
and now "we are broken"
And there is no way to restore this now.
...."give us life again."

Life is less with out you.

"The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and
soundly But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the
front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel
so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'llthink of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh,if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here"