Hope?

Well, i've had two days of no tears and only a few minor panic attacks.
doing better.

I tried to kill myself a few days ago. ended up in the hospital. I really wanted to die. I did NOT want to wake up i just wanted to sleep and be done with it all. But there were other plans.
no one was home, or was going to be home for a few days. Only a lady stopped by to see if i wanted to go out for dinner, found me and then off i went to the hospital.

Stuipd? maybe, probably. By my emotions only get worse as days go on. I'm doing my best not to think of him or anything. He was a dumb boyfriend. He never cared for me and only sucked me dry. I deserve a prince. Something he could never be. because he is to stuck being a selfish small child.

Looks like i might be moving back to Waterloo for Aug Sep ish. Just trying to figure out work. This idea sort of excites me. A totally new chapter and experience. This hope has given me a better outlook on my new life. Having a mini plan makes me feel more stable and like i have something i can do.

I'm looking at becoming a bartender. I think since i have boobs and like the bar scene i could do ok. my clumsiness and anxiety has me a little concerned but we will see.

Just thought you should know.